Pages: [1] 2 3 4 
|
 |
|
Author
|
Topic: Jokes (Read 1056 times)
|
|
|
|
|
starscream
DV Member
 Online
Posts: 727
Out- Star Wars me.... I dare ya!!!!
|
 |
Re: Jokes
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2010, 10:20:53 PM » |
|
What is the last thing you want to hear in a GAY bar?
May I push your stool in?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reppyboyo
DV Member
 Offline
Posts: 585
For the Lulz
|
|
Re: Jokes
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2010, 11:48:42 PM » |
|
For your job`s sake I hope they are. 
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
benjih03
Offline
Posts: 596
|
|
Re: Jokes
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2010, 11:49:49 PM » |
|
I'll save someone the embarrassment of saying it: Man walks into a bar. Ouch. :lol (by which I mean that nothing is funny, and I tried to beat the swear filter and failed!):
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
awesofter101
Offline
Posts: 162
|
|
Re: Jokes
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2010, 12:06:53 AM » |
|
sickopeadia?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
C-X
DV Marshal
Offline
Posts: 1,607
More Cowbell!
|
|
Re: Jokes
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2010, 04:53:41 AM » |
|
Father Murphy was walking along the banks of the Shannon one day, when he sees Paddy, one of his congregation fishing. He stops for a chat and mentions that he's never tried fishing before. "It's a doddle", says Paddy. "Take my spare rod and give it a go."
"Well, I suppose the blessed Saint Peter himself was a fisherman. Perhaps I'll try my hand," says Father Murphy.
He sits down and casts his line. After a few minutes he gets a bite and reels in a fat ten-pounder. He's pleased as punch as Paddy slaps him on the back and says, "That's a great big f*cker, Father".
"Language!" replies Father Murphy. "I am a priest."
"No Father, you misunderstand, this fish is called a f*cker," explains Paddy, thinking on his feet.
Laughing at the misunderstanding, Father Murphy takes his catch home and finds the Bishop waiting in his front room.
"That's a splendid looking fish, Father," exclaims the Bishop.
"Aye," replies Father Murphy, "it's a great big f*cker."
"Please Father! Such language," says the Bishop.
"No no, your grace," replies Murphy, "this fish is called a f*cker."
It being Friday, the reassured Bishop suggests they repair to his residence for a fine fish supper. Once there the Bishop goes to the kitchen to clean and gut the fish. They are then joined by the Mother Superior of the local convent. Being no great cook himself, the Bishop says "Reverend Mother, would you mind poaching this f*cker for us?"
"Your grace, you cannot say that in the house of God," she explains, horrified.
"You misunderstand, Reverend Mother, this fish is called a f*cker."
Calm again, the Mother Superior sets about cooking he fish. Shortly they are joined by the Pope, who is making a surprise visit (as he does). Delighted, the Bishop invites him to supper.
They sit down at the table and the Pope says grace. Then the Mother Superior brings in the fish on the finest silver platter. Eagerly the three await the opinion from God's Voice on Earth.
"That is a fine fish," remarks the impressed Pontiff.
"That it is, your Holiness. I caught the f*cker," says the beaming Father Murphy.
"I cleaned the f*cker," adds the Bishop.
"And I cooked the f*cker," chirps in the Mother Superior.
The Pope sits back and stares at them for a moment. Then he plants his feet on the table, lets out a mighty fart and says, "Know what? You c*nts are all right."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Firkit
Administrator
Online
Posts: 3,817
|
 |
Re: Jokes
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2010, 10:01:04 AM » |
|
Obviously nothing racist or otherwise offensive to minority groups. Remember also that several of our audience are only 14
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 
|
|
|
|
|
